Archive for the 'marriage and family therapy' Category

The Amazing Benefits of Marriage and Family Counseling

marriage and family therapy
Dr Mike Shery asked:


Family problems can cause untold suffering and emotional problems. They can lead to depression, anxiety and even substance abuse. These problems are often very complex so timeliness can be crucial to a good counseling outcome -the sooner therapy is started, the better.

Conflicts like these often cause people to seek psychological or marriage counseling. However, they usually procrastinate, making a beneficial outcome more difficult. Find a therapist who provides an appointment within 7 days. Leveraging motivation by using immediacy in obtaining treatment is crucial to a good result.

Married couples can experience problems because of physical or mental health problems in either person, or in one of their children. Parent-child problems can also create turmoil. For these reasons, it can be helpful if your therapist is a psychologist; psychologists can administer diagnostic tests which can get to the heart of any psychiatric or mental health problems.

It’s important that the spouses or family members stay in therapy long enough to get a substantive benefit. Treatment must be affordable. Family members can secure limited services through Employee Assistance Programs offered through the workplace. These services are typically free and are offered through the Human Resources Dept.

If counseling involves the treatment of psychological disorder(s), health benefits plans will pay for all or some of it. In this instance, seek a therapist who only requires the co-payment at each visit.

Some require that you pay the entire fee, only to be reimbursed later based on the amount your insurance company eventually pays. This is not the standard of practice in the era of managed care; pay only the co-pay. Your therapist should wait for the balance of the payment through the insurance company.

Of course, your responsibility is to do all you can to facilitate that payment by providing the insurance company with any requested information. Respond to such inquiries promptly so your counselor will get paid.

Testing is considered part of an assessment- the first stage of counseling. During this stage the therapist is evaluating the current status of the problems. What are they? He evaluates communication patterns, built-in biases and stereotypes, the existence of psychiatric dysfunctions, problem-solving skills and the levels of empathy that are demonstrated by family members.

Communication and discipline problems between parents and children are very common and can make marital problems even worse. Divorce and the creation of stepfamilies also create difficulties. Often, the couple itself is the problem because of poor communication, continuous conflict, alienation, sexual problems or even in-law problems.

Problems like these often lead to adjustment issues. Since the family relationships are central to the problem, it may be necessary to change their underlying dynamics. A family therapist often provides marriage counseling or family therapy to address these issues as well as to help parents improve their parenting skills. Sometimes multiple problems exist such as, depression in one family member, plus conflict in the marriage itself.

The second stage of treatment is the goal-setting stage. At this stage, the counselor and family members specify behavioral changes towards which to work. These can include increase in levels of demonstrated empathy, the use of negotiation techniques, the demonstration of positive reinforcement and appreciation and the more frequent use of forgiveness.

The last stage of counseling is implementation. This stage includes the development of a plan of action to get the family members from where they are to where they WANT to be. Several counseling approaches may be necessary in these circumstances, including interpersonal and empathy training, cognitive modification and role playing and role reversal. The therapist may ask the clients to use diaries, logs, charts, graphs etc to practice specific the new behavioral skills in their everyday lives.

Does the counselor ever see an individual family member separately from the family sessions? Only infrequently, will a psychologist provide individual psychotherapy to one member of the family, and simultaneously treat the whole family or the couple. However, one exception is that treatment related to child behavior problems will often include individual sessions with the parents to impart parenting skills.

However, these sessions are designed to help with parenting skills only. While it is possible to provide individual psychotherapy to two family members separately, psychologists evaluate its possible effectiveness on a per case basis.

Psychologists who provide family therapy or marriage counseling often have received specialized training in family counseling theory and in family and marriage therapy skills. When you contact a psychologist for family or marriage counseling, do not hesitate to ask about his/her training in marriage and family therapy techniques.



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Secrets For A Wonderful Start To Your Marriage

marriage and family therapy
Mark Webb asked:


Sometimes couples have unrealistic expectations about what marriage should be like for them. These needs are everything from provisional to emotional. Trying to meet these expectations can be quite a task. Presupposing these expectations will be met can be disasterous.

When your expectations are not met this sets you up to be unhappy and to complain. This can quickly frustrate even the happiest of newlyweds. Strengthen your marriage with a solid foundation. Make sure you start off with the right tools. 1) Remember that it is an adjustment to being together. Give it time. Working out the questions of who is going to do what and how should it be done can cause conflict. Questions like, ” Who is going to pay the bills?” “Who is going to clean the bathrooms?” “Which church are we going to attend?” must be answered. Don’t let these adjustment challenges come between you and the one you love. 2) Embrace your spouse’s differences verus criticizing them or trying to change them. Be your spouse’s biggest fan. Stay away from stereotypes that your partner won’t be able to fulfill. You will break their spirit if you expect them to be just like your mom, your dad, or someone else you admire. Be appreciative of your spouse. It takes time for a marriage to mature. 3) Fortify your commitment to each other. Never threaten divorce. You’ll probably think about it at some point in your marriage but don’t ever say it. ( This does not apply to situations that involve abuse.) Threatening divorce will dilute the commitment between you. Your message needs to be, “I’m Here For You No Matter What.” 4) Don’t let friends, parents, or in-laws interfere with your marriage. You are inviting trouble if you do. Be quick to set limits with people who try and interfere with your marriage. By not speaking up you will be setting yourselves up to have your marriage undermined. You and your spouse need to establish your own expectations for your marriage. 5) Try not to go to bed angry. Staying connected to each other is more important. However, if you catch yourselves in a situation in which emotions are too high, you may have to back off and readdress the matter at a later time. Conflict if handled properly can be productive. Promise to fight fairly and do the right thing even if you don’t feel like it.

Keep These Points In Mind At Times Of Conflict Don’t Yell * Don’t Out Talk Them Don’t Use Profanity * Don’t Interrupt Don’t Name Call * Don’t Dismiss Their Ideas As Stupid Don’t throw all of your problems into the conflict. * Don’t Forget That You Love Each Other. *Try and stick to the subject at hand.

6) Get away with each other about every 6 to 8 weeks. This means by yourselves. No friends, no parents, and no children. I know this is easier said than done but it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. It can be a simple day trip to a near-by town or state park. So near-by or far away, just go. My Marriage and Family Therapy Professor at Valdosta State University, Dr. John Curtis, used to teach us that this is one of the best ways to keep your marriage fresh and alive. If you are a newlywed, practice these principles. If you’ve been married for a while, recommit yourself to these principles. Strive To Have A Wonderful Marriage.

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Does Love Lead to Marriage?

marriage and family therapy
MIKE SELVON asked:


One of the biggest questions people have about love is whether or not love leads to marriage. For many people, marriage is the ultimate outcome of a life lived in love and represents the end of one road and the beginning of another.

For others, marriage is not a path they want to take. Regardless, there is no one answer to this question about love because everyone is bound to have a different love experience. There are factors that influence love, however, and there are visions of love that are healthy and those that are not.

The secret to a happy marriage is, of course, love. When people talk about having the ultimate happy marriage, they are talking about being around the one they love as much as possible. For many people, marriage in those terms is the absolute apex of a love life. For others, however, a happy marriage may be no marriage at all.

Some may find that spending their lives with one person is not satisfying in the least. They may wish for many more partners and many more experiences in order for their happiness to be realized. The question many people wonder about such lifestyles is about the role that love plays in their relationships.

There are many reasons besides love that people in today’s world marry and there are many reasons that those marriages end. The basic component in all of those types of relationships is selfishness and the desire to meet personal needs first and those of a partner second. It is for this reason that broken relationships appear to be on the rise.

People are desiring more for themselves and less for others, leading to the inevitable deconstruction of relationship fundamentals such as trust and confidence.. With divorce and broken homes on the rise, an examination of what leads people to marry is probably in order.

The truth about love, is that there is no truth about love. There are only subjective ideas as to what marriage should be based on. In today’s cynical world, the foundation for many a relationship is bent on reliance on the other person and not on selfless love. The notions of marriage and family therapy are on the rise because people, on the whole, seem to have forgotten about love.

The relationship goals and desires of today’s modern person seem to rely more on the workings of social aspects external to the relationship and less on happiness within. People are concerned about what they look like, if their eyelashes are “plump” enough and if the person they are with is suitable in terms of looks. The world needs love, in large doses to overcome it’s increasing cynicism.



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