Marriage Counseling

Peter Harris asked:


The answer to this question will vary depending on who is answering it.  A professional marriage counselor may suggest that counseling is needed and necessary for any strain in a relationship that has gone unresolved.  Others may say that minor relationship riffs can be handled between the couple themselves.  If they cannot reach a resolution to the problem and it is causing a strain in the relationship then marriage counseling is needed.

Minor to moderate relationship problems can usually be solved between two people involved in a relationship, married or not.  How well you communicate to your partner will, in part, dictates the success of resolving the problem.  If needed couples can always solicit the advice and assistance of family, friends or their priest or minister. 

If you have tried to work out your problems without professional help and are not succeeding in reaching a resolution then you may want to consider seeking professional help.  Marriage counseling is likely needed when you are not able to reach an agreement concerning whatever relationship problems you are having.  Espcecially when these problems are affecting the relationship in a negative way.

Here are several indications that you may need the help of a marriage counselor:

1.  Alcohol or drugs play a role in the relationship problem.

2.  Physical, verbal or emotion abuse is part of the relationship.

3.  One or both of you have significant mental health issues.

4.  One or both of you is suffering from depression.

5.  One or both of you is experiencing decreased libido for a  prolonged time.

6.  Extramarital affairs are part of the equation.

7.  Tension between the two of you is growing rapidly. 

It is always worthwhile to try and resolve your relationship problems yourselves.  At least in this way you are both making an effort to save the relationship.  As stated above if you find that you are unable to resolve your issues on your own then marriage counseling is likely needed.



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Robert Kokoska asked:


Most of us have a certain idea about what marriage counseling is all about - we usually always think of it as a modern idea, having grown out of the increase in divorces over the past years. Getting marriage counseling to most people would seem to indicate that the marriage is in some real trouble, and that getting counseling is a sort of last ditch effort to save it from disaster or divorce.

It is very unfortunate that we have developed this incorrent association. In the olden days, marriage counseling was not called marriage counseling - but it was still widely practiced, and usually occured before the actual marriage took place. Almost all religions, for example, have developed a sort of pre-marital counseling practice that is designed to help the couple develop clear and honest communication with each other and to be crystal clear about their intentions and goals with regard to the marriage. In modern marriage counseling, we do some of the same things - but they only usually happen after the marriage has begun to deteriorate and the problems have become worse.

The best time to actually start marriage counseling is early on - preferably before you even get married, or very early in the marriage, especially if either of you have some indication that you and your partner may need to improve on your communication skills. Communication breakdown is the most common reason for failure in marriages and relationships. Unfortunately, we also have created a negative association with the idea of marriage counseling.

Many people are afraid that if they bring up the subject up, it will be interpreted by others in the wrong way. This is a common mistake. Recognising the need to improve a relationship or marriage, or to work on better communication, should not be taken to mean that the marriage is headed for disaster nor divorce. The simple fact is that marriage counselling is more effective when it is not used as a last ditch effort. It should be seen as something that can strenghthen the relationship and marriage and should be considered at the moment any problem starts to develop.

In fact, the one time that marriage counseling will not help is when one of the partners has already mentally or psychologically detatched himself from the partnership completely. At this point, individual counseling may be what is needed. In order for marriage counseling to be trully successful, both partners need to really be committed to working at it. They need to be there to enhance and improve the marriage rather than simply looking for a reason to leave it.

If you are at that point in your marriage, check the psychological association directory in your area for names our counselors. Another option is to ask around - ask friends, or your family doctor. Marriage counseling is not an easy or quick fix solution, but it can be a new beginning - and it is definitely worth your while. If you have trouble affording counseling, some communities have free or low cost counseling programs.



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Helen Leman asked:


Calgary marriage counseling centre is allowing couples to explore different ways to ensure a successful marriage. World renowned committed therapists are offering the best solution to every couple. New interactive forms are making the counseling easier and more attractive. Calgary marriage counseling is presenting professional and experienced therapists really committed to keep families together. Their goal is to strengthen the foundation of a family.

Calgary marriage counseling is building effective communication skills, and restoring the belief in the existence of a marriage. The family is considered a system, people realize the effect they have on each other and facilitate a better communication. There are fabulous lessons to be learned to build trust and understanding. The partners will have the feeling that their counselor is their friend who sincerely helps them to come over the delicate problems. Seeking counseling is the best thing to do when a marriage is in trouble. Marriage counseling can prove to be an inexpensive option when considering the possibility of what could happen.

Many people neglect to regularly invest in their marriage, and find soon themselves in trouble. When partners are concerned about marital discord, relational disharmony, it is possible to learn how to make the relationship more satisfying. Calgary marriage counseling teaches couples to build committed and strong relationships. Simple conflicts can have unexpected disastrous consequences if the partners are not communicating openly and honestly.

Calgary marriage counseling is teaching also how to practice win-win communication, as well as rediscovering love and trust. In every marriage problem, committed therapists can teach what can be done to get the relationship back on track explaining how to meet the partners’ needs. Another way to consolidate a marriage is to develop unity and mutual respect and define mutual life goals. Calgary marriage counseling is also teaching how to deal with stress and work through relationships problems. Infidelity, anger, illness, lack of communication skills can lead a marriage to distress. Calgary marriage counseling is teaching the partners to resolve the main conflicts and heal their wounds.

Calgary marriage counseling can help couples to rebuild their relationship. Couple therapy helps people to understand and then resolve conflicts to improve their communication skills and negotiate differences, in an elegant and efficient way. Counseling will be short term if the situation improves in a spectacular manner; it can be also long term collaboration in the marriage is seriously deteriorated. The most indicate frequency is once a week.

The partners will understand that there is no perfect marriage; each person has ideas, goals and values and they don’t match the spouse’s exactly. The differences can be complementary, and they say that opposites attract. People must respect and try to understand other cultures, opinions and beliefs. Sometimes a lack of interest in communication and caring is disintegrating a marriage. The stress, depression, sadness and fear can appear now. A bad relation may easily lead to other problems, creating problems on the job or affect the children’s life.



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